Guatemala...

So Allison starts work in a few weeks...and it's govt work so she won't get much in the way of leave for a little while...so off to Guatemala for a couple weeks...catch the big bird in Atlanta, head south for about 3 hours, and you're there.

La Nueva Guatemala de la Asunción...aka Guatemala City...or "Guate"...but my fav- is "The GC". Now, contrary to belief...The GC is not that bad of a town...if you're into laundering money, harvesting organs, and arming guerillas. I mean, we're talking about a city of nearly 5 million in a developing country of 13...there's bound to be interesting street people there, right? No worries...it's got all the crime of any token developing country...carjackings, kidnappings, muggings, and whatnot. Nothing a little luck and more brains than what's given to a retarded billy goat won't handle.

But for me, I find little joy in negotiating with double-digit IQ individuals. Especially when there is little more than air and a noticably worn yet well oiled Kalashnikov between us. And one can't help but take notice when the State Dept.'s country briefing includes, "...gang members are often well armed with sophisticated weaponry." Wow - thugs with the cash and access to US black market stores...now we're cooking with Crisco! Man...thanks for getting it all straight down there Reagan...we're only 20 or so years out and they've come so far!

The potential for such excitement justifies paying the inflated rate of $10 US for a non-stop private ride from the airport to Antigua. Taking chances is a relative phrase...and the difference between adventurous and insane is, admittingly, a thin rail in my book. However, I've never had an interest in bear hunting having just swam in honey, and I don't have any interest in walking the off streets of The GC.

Soooo...on to Antigua...to see 17th century Spain in Guatemala. You've got a better chance of coming down with TB in Antigua than seeing an unattended bag of garbage or a stray dog. This city is paved in stones to increase the flow of gringos with debit cards. If it is true that when people go on vacation they bring their wallets and leave their brains at home, Antigua is the designee for Guatemala. Cool town...but not "Guatemala".

You can easily find a van going south of The GC out of Antigua... one of four active volcanos in the country, Payaca...it's a hike but really neat. You'll know how hot the ground is under you when the smell of burned sneaker sole becomes oh so apparent.

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Anyway, there's a ton of other happenings over the course of a couple weeks...most of which I crawled Ally's skin with, "if security measures are not beefed up, we will be seeking other accommodations."

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Hey, I'm a cynic...it's the muse of happiness for me, I suppose. But I'll say this and leave it to the slideshows...two words - chicken bus - discuss it amongst yourselves...